The contrast between the housekeeping standards of my two grandmothers gave me a lot to consider. Mildred had a depression derived propensity to save everything and felt comfortable living amidst what for her was a tolerable amount of clutter. The mindset of saving anything and everything in case it might be needed had a stronghold on many Americans who painfully remembered what scarcity felt like during the difficult depression years.
Hoarding material possessions was considered resourceful. Stocking excesses of canned goods in rows on out of the way shelves was a habit adopted by many homemakers. No one wanted to be caught without enough food for their family in case inclement weather or a sudden economic downturn made purchasing food difficult. Canned foods would sometimes be stored for such long periods of time that it was impossible to know the can’s contents since the paper wrappers had worn off. Even if the food wasn’t edible anymore when one did open the can the presence of the canned items gave a sense of security.
Anna’s personal fastidiousness and impeccable housekeeping standards created an environment of simplicity and comfort. There was room to breathe and move about her house without a lot of stuff everywhere. Unlike Mildred and my mother Elle, Anna had no fondness for knick-knacks, trinkets and doo-dads that had no practical purpose except that they were somehow viewed as art. Anna kept a few memorable items, mostly photographs and a few well cared for plants in her living room. The fact that I can’t recall seeing bugs in Anna’s house probably taught me to associate cleanliness with absence of unwanted critters. I believe Mildred did the best she knew how as do most of us and her home was a good place because she was there.
I have a personal distaste for anything resembling a knick-knack. Don’t get me wrong, I love art on the walls and beautiful things but have no desire to collect anything except meaningful relationships and possibly outdoor garden perennials. Too much stuff in the house makes me feel like I want to escape and run away from home. When the place is clean and uncluttered I breathe great relief and feel decidedly uplifted and happier. Anything we own actually owns us in that it requires cleaning, dusting or some form of maintenance!
The condition and decor of homes is one of many things I observed growing up. My mom, bless her, was very busy as a working mother. That fact combined with her awkwardness with homemaking meant our place was functional but to me it was never warmly welcoming or beautiful. It was home and for that I am thankful as too many kids can’t say they have a home. I was and am very blessed in always having a place to live. As I grew, it was from observing the homes of others that I acquired ideas that would change my philosophy on what a home should be as a place of refuge, safety and beauty for the people important to us and also as a place of hospitality and generosity.
One main thing I learned growing up is how I didn’t want to live. I guess most young people go through a time when they are convinced that they will live better or more effectively than their parents, do a better job of parenting and improve on the living of life in general. For me this desire to improve on life and the environments in which it was lived grew all pervasive. There was little I observed as a child that I wanted to consciously emulate.
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