American Maven Lady: I Can't See You Anymore

The “Best Winter” when Marv took these photographs of a Very Happy Elle

It was in early April of that year that Elle had something important to tell Marv one weekend when they were together. Ever since the wonderful Christmas dance and other events with Marv at the Naval Academy their relationship had escalated to a serious intimate level. All who knew them knew they were in love and assumed they were headed for marriage when Marv the midshipman graduated in June.

That Saturday the air was filled with all the early signs of spring. Elle was so full of emotions she felt she might burst. She didn’t know whether to be happy or afraid. For days she had rehearsed in her mind exactly what to say to Marv and nothing seemed exactly right. Bottom line is she just had to tell him plainly that she was expecting a baby, his baby.

Elle was working up her courage to “spill the beans” to Marv after they had lunch together. Sitting together at a table, sharing a meal is such a good way to speak the thoughts of one’s heart along with news events and anything that entered one’s mind. During the entire meal Elle was uneasy but did a great job of concealing her nervousness.

Just as she had nearly mustered the courage to tell Marv he spoke to her first. “Elle I need to tell you something.” “Okay” she said as she listened and waited. “Listen I have an early birthday present to give to you and I want to give it to you now.” Elle was surprised and confused since her birthday was not until late April.

After she opened her early surprise birthday gift Marv announced, “Elle I need to tell you something important.” She sat quietly, feeling somewhat bewildered. “I can’t see you anymore Elle because I am graduating soon and leaving. I just can’t see you anymore because of that.”

Elle felt a large lump in her throat and didn’t know if she could swallow at all. It felt like she was in a dream or movie and nothing happening could possibly be real. Her mind started racing, her head swaying and she felt like she might faint in a sea of fire. For several minutes Elle sat there across the table from Marv feeling frozen to the chair. Her legs were so heavy they could not move. She couldn’t lift her hands but forced one hand to pick up her purse and clutched it close to her body.

Marv sat silently across from her looking forlorn but resolved. He had said what he needed to say and there was nothing more to be said. After what seemed like hours of painful agonizing silence Elle, holding onto her purse for dear life, raised herself onto her feet and pushed back her chair from the table. The last thing she wanted to do was leave and be without Marv. Suddenly she felt her feet start moving beneath her and she quickly walked away from the table towards the restaurant door. Her hands pressed the door handle as she leaned her body to force open the door and quickly found herself outside the restaurant in the cool mid-day air.

As if sleep walking, Elle walked and found her way to a bus stop where she could catch a bus to – she wasn’t certain where but hoped it would take her in the direction of her home. She stood there waiting for the bus- alone. Tears fell from her eyes like a spigot where the turn off valve was broken. As the tears continued gliding down her cheeks even her dress became wet. “Oh God, what am I going to do?”

Elle could never remember what it was that Marv gave her for a birthday present. Marv never again contacted her and Elle never saw or spoke to Marv again.