Sour Beef, Hard Crabs & Bingo

Elle grew to 5’ 2” with beautiful brown eyes and hair. She was active in archery, shooting guns, a gymnast and eventually joined the United States coast guard. Elle and Mildred’s tumultuous relationship included times when Mildred was so angry that she took a wire coat hanger to  Elle’s clothes, tearing each item. When Elle came home and saw the damage she hurt deeply inside.

Elle did not acquire high level domestic skills and struggled from childhood on with keeping a home. She didn’t mind living with a good bit of dust and clutter. She was never the type to enjoy cooking and cleaning and insisted she could not even sew on a button. She tried once or twice to sew things for me such as a clown costume but insisted she had no skill or creativity. I’ve seen photos of the clown costume and it looked good. Elle underplayed her gifts and abilities.

When Elle was sixteen she ran away from home with a man nicknamed Skeets and they got married. Skeets adored her and he was heartbroken when the marriage was annulled. He carried the flaming torch for Elle for decades but they were never reunited. Eventually Elle knew Skeets got married and had children and they lost touch with each other. One of the drawers in her dresser contained special things like jewelry. There was a silver charm bracelet from Skeets and one charm had “Till Then” engraved on it which was the song they had made their own.

Elle later married a man who knew one of her relatives. She never talked much about him but apparently he had a very jealous nature, and was even violently jealous. When she left the house she was interrogated later on every detail of her time apart from him and he was suspicious of other men. The marriage lasted a few years and there was a divorce. Elle still had no children. She worked in administrative and bookkeeping jobs and established herself as a careerist in a world where mainly the men worked and the women were homemakers. Of course Elle’s mother Mildred set an example of a woman working full time outside the home. These women were different before their time. Mildred was the only woman in her extended family who was not a full time homemaker.

Elle loved her step father Dutch and always introduced him as her father. Few knew he was a step father as Elle’s biological father became a faint memory. Dutch was good to Elle and loved her like his own girl. He was a quiet, even tempered man who unlike his wife Mildred, never raised his voice or spoke a harsh word to anyone. Looking back, when Mildred went through menopause, “all hell broke loose” and her flaws and raging became accentuated as the volume on everything got turned up to high. Everyone loved her because she was also a kind, generous woman and because it was not even a consideration to detach from one’s blood relatives. Family was everything, including extended family and people endured the ups and downs of each other’s lives because it was the right thing to do.

Mildred and Dutch enjoyed gambling and were regular participants at the race track and places with slot machines which were Mildred’s favorite.

Horse Racing

Mildred also loved Bingo and played at least one night every week. I’d often be found in large smoke filled Bingo halls playing with dolls, eating candy, reading or searching for other ways to occupy myself while a man called out Bingo numbers all night from a loud microphone. The idea of wining money intrigued me but not enough to actually play the game more than occasionally. I found it boring and shallow. I extend my apologies to those who appreciate Bingo. My mother Elle inherited the love for Bingo but that gene stopped being transmitted with her generation and it even embarrasses me to discuss Bingo- silly I suppose but real feelings nonetheless. It’s probably a better time waster than television because it does require some social interaction and getting out and about. My mother made friends when she played Bingo. I am ready for a nap just thinking about it too much.

Mildred and Dutch shared a struggle with food. Putting it kindly, they were both overweight. Mildred’s arms were so fat that as a child I loved napping in the car with my head on Gran’s arm. It made such a warm, soft, large pillow. I didn’t know Gran was fat- she was just Gran. Although Gran worked full time as a seamstress when cooked often when she was home and established many family favorites. Everyone craved her German sour beef and dumplings made with ground ginger snap cookies as part of the recipe that stewed on the stove for hours. I can still see Gran dropping dough into boiling water to make the soft dumplings that went underneath the sour beef.

Sour beef

Many summer days were spent with relatives around a table spread with open newspapers with heaps of large steamed crabs in the center of the table. There would also be large pots of fresh corn on the cob steaming on the stove and plates of the largest, reddest tomato slices I’ve ever seen. Another favorite was cantaloupe slices which my Pop (Dutch) would coat with salt..he salted everything that went into his mouth. The corn was slathered with butter then a thick layer of salt that adhered to the butter. Eating whatever tasted well was the only criteria for what one ate. Additionally crabs are meant to be eaten with a lot of beer!

Steamed hard crabs